Nerdy Boy Web Log: Earth Date: October 6, 2005
Hello Ready McReaders,
It's October, and you know what that means. Halloween!!! I already picked out my costume on November 1st of last year. I have gone trick-or-treating every Halloween since I was 2 and I am now 43, (remember mostly everything I write about Nerdy Boy is fake) and last year mother helped me pick out my costume for this year. I am beingJar Jar Binks from Star Wars. Cool huh. I hope all of you know that I am a big Star Wars fan. Last year I was a cute and cuddly little puppy dog, and the year before that I was my hero Luke Skywalker, and the year before that I was Spock. This year is gonna be awesome. Mother only lets me go to 3 houses for candy every Halloween. I tell her that I could handle 6 houses, but she fears that walking to two extra house would not be good for my asthma, and with costs of fillings for cavaties these days, I figured I don't need the extra 3 pieces of candy anyway.
I shall talk more of Halloween later, but now I must tell you about my trip to Las Vegas with mother. Mother and I, drove there in my mom's minivan. When we got there mother did a little gambling, I asked if I may try just one slot machine, but mother didn't think it was such a good idea. But me, being the naughty person I am, I snook a quarter from mother's purse and tried a slot machine. I didn't win anything, I confessed the whole thing to mother on the way home. She said she would punish me, but I cried in her lap, saying I felt really guilty and she decided I'd suffered enough. Later that night, we saw Wayne Newton. Personally, I love Wayne, but mother is a giant Wayne fan, I call her a Wayniac. When we got there mother ordered us two apricot sours. We wore matching Wayne shirts. During the whole concert I could of sworn Wayne was looking right at me. Wayne is such a little devil. The rest of the trip I just pretty much hung out at the buffets. It truly was a great vacation, me and mother our already planning another trip to Vegas, but we might just take a cruise to the Bahamas instead. Mother says in the Bahamas, I can rub san tan oil on her into the wee hours of the night. That's all I have to tell you today, except for your trivia and joke of the post.
Trivia: Tiger sharks fight in their mother's womb. The winner is born.
Joke: Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance..
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage...
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"...
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!
It's October, and you know what that means. Halloween!!! I already picked out my costume on November 1st of last year. I have gone trick-or-treating every Halloween since I was 2 and I am now 43, (remember mostly everything I write about Nerdy Boy is fake) and last year mother helped me pick out my costume for this year. I am beingJar Jar Binks from Star Wars. Cool huh. I hope all of you know that I am a big Star Wars fan. Last year I was a cute and cuddly little puppy dog, and the year before that I was my hero Luke Skywalker, and the year before that I was Spock. This year is gonna be awesome. Mother only lets me go to 3 houses for candy every Halloween. I tell her that I could handle 6 houses, but she fears that walking to two extra house would not be good for my asthma, and with costs of fillings for cavaties these days, I figured I don't need the extra 3 pieces of candy anyway.
I shall talk more of Halloween later, but now I must tell you about my trip to Las Vegas with mother. Mother and I, drove there in my mom's minivan. When we got there mother did a little gambling, I asked if I may try just one slot machine, but mother didn't think it was such a good idea. But me, being the naughty person I am, I snook a quarter from mother's purse and tried a slot machine. I didn't win anything, I confessed the whole thing to mother on the way home. She said she would punish me, but I cried in her lap, saying I felt really guilty and she decided I'd suffered enough. Later that night, we saw Wayne Newton. Personally, I love Wayne, but mother is a giant Wayne fan, I call her a Wayniac. When we got there mother ordered us two apricot sours. We wore matching Wayne shirts. During the whole concert I could of sworn Wayne was looking right at me. Wayne is such a little devil. The rest of the trip I just pretty much hung out at the buffets. It truly was a great vacation, me and mother our already planning another trip to Vegas, but we might just take a cruise to the Bahamas instead. Mother says in the Bahamas, I can rub san tan oil on her into the wee hours of the night. That's all I have to tell you today, except for your trivia and joke of the post.
Trivia: Tiger sharks fight in their mother's womb. The winner is born.
Joke: Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance..
Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink...
Only in America...do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions.
Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and diet coke...
Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters...
Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless junk in the garage...
Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight...
Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in Latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "bloodsucking creatures"...
Only in America do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering!
posted by Elmer Neumanberg @ 5:25 PM
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