Nerdy Boy Web Log 4: Earth Date: July 24, 2005

Hey! It's Nerdy Boy. The strangest thing happened to me last night. I went to sleep in my bed around 7:30, after I finished doing some math problems. I was pleasently sleeping until around midnight, when suddenly a leprechaun, named Shamus that lives in my basement, attacked. He started clawing at my face, and I started screaming, then crying, and then I just decided to play dead. He believed I was dead and started doing a little jig on my fat belly. He danced and danced and danced, until about 3 in the morning, then he jumped out the window. I woke up the next morning and ran out to find the leprechaun laying dead in my front lawn. I was devistated. It must of happened when he jumped out my window. I stared at him, crying. Thinking that this creature that had been very true to me up until his very last hour, did not deserve to die. Suddenly, one of his eyes popped open, he jumped up and started to attack me again. Then he pulled out a gun, and told me to drive him to nearest pub. I told him that I did not have a driver's license, but that didn't stop him. We got in the car, and started driving to the pub. On the way out of my neighborhood, I hit a tree. The airbags came out, and I left the accident without a scratch. I then looked in the back seat to see Shamus dead as a door nail. I cried and cried and cried and cried, but it was no use, I was never going to hold Shamus in my arms again. I threw him in the sewer, and watched the sewer rats carry him off to their underground society of super smart rodents. He was my friend, but he would be their feast. I knew the day would come when Shamus would pulled from the warmth of my beautiful busum, and taken to the cold, dampness of the sewer rat. When I die, I want to go as honarary as Shamus did. I went back inside my house, and started typing this to you wonderful people. Just a sec, my phones ringing.
I just got off the phone with my dead compainion's lawyer. He told me that Shamus was a very wealthy man, and he left it all to me. It turns out Shamus was the king of all leprechauns, and that I was to be presumed king at 2:00 this afternoon. If I'm gonna make it there in time, I gotta go now. Bye. I'll write you more of journey.
Love,
Nerdy Boy/King of all leprechauns