NERDY BOY WEB BLOG

Monday, August 22, 2005

Nerdy Boy Web Log: Earth Date: August 22, 2005

Dearest Readers,
WHY ISN'T ANYONE POSTING ANY COMMENTS ON MY WEB

BLOG. I AM GOING TO STOP WRITING THIS WEB BLOG

UNLESS SOMEBODY POSTS SOME COMMENTS.

My new name is Squalls the Big A** Nougat. Why, you may be asking, does he want his new name to be that? He is really scary and weird. But the reason I want you to call me that is because pink man-eating leprechauns dance in the sunlight when the moonlight shines above the third tower of Crezcaria for if we do not kill the evilest muffins of the third dimension of Morgenheim we shall wither and die into a puddle of non-existent dust for the galaxies and the black holes to suck us into a mayhem of oblivion and wonder. Sorry for that rare moment but I had to get it out.
As I have mentioned before I love Star Trek. I go to the conventions all the time. I have 42 autographs of Spock (Leonard Nimoy), and two of the autographs are signed on his action figure. All the Star Trek memorobilia I have is worth approximentally 44,4654,456,565,654,235,543.9958327321349.4 Smignorians. Smignorians is the currency used by the Melkgloritans on the planet Xelexon 9. According to my Star Trek Collectibles Handbook, my entire collection is worth about $23,454,033 dollars. I would never sell anyone of them or take them out of their original packaging. I am going to buy a coffin 400 X 400 ft. to fit me and all of my collectibles in when I die. I just re-did the math on my pocket calculator and with my new Jar Jar Binks inflatible pool toy I will now need a coffin 401.2 X 404.1 ft.
Let me tell you a little about myself. I live with my mom. I am 42 and 3/4. I own shop that sells Star Wars posters and cardboard cutouts and iguanas. My store is called Star Wars Above and Beyond With Iguanas. Pretty cool huh. I really like computers, dungeons and dragons, Star Wars, Star Trek, Sci-Fi, Iguanas, my mom, thick glasses, pocket protectors, ball point pens, Alf pogs, Taco Bell burritos, leprechauns, and anything else that nerds love. I weigh 453.23 lbs. I have long greasy, curly, brown hair. I am wearing my favorite t-shirt right now. I had the t-shirt made up myself at a store downtown. It has a picture of Luke Skywalker, a picture of William Shatner, a picture of a Taco Bell, a picture of my mom, and a picture of the t-shirt all on the shirt. It is awesoeme. My favorite colors are yellow the color of Princess Lea's hair and plad. The title of that movie The 40 Year Old Virgin reallly reminds me of me. Evey year since 1999 I have dressed up as Jar Jar Binks at the Star Wars Convention. I own every X-Men comic known to man. I have a greasy beard with nacho cheesse in it. I can repeat every line from every Star Trek episode. I have never been within 10 ft. of a girl besides my mom. I usually eat 3 whole chickens and a turkey for dinner. My IQ is 157. I am picking my nose right now. I can't play any sports unless chess is a sport. In high school, I never got stuffed in a locker because I coudn't fit in one. I never got my head dunked in the toilet because all the bullies were too afraid to touch smelly ol' me. I still go trick-or-treating for Halloween and every year I dress up as a Star Wars character. I dance to music in the nude. I am learning two new languages to expand my horizions; Klingon and binary code. I have had 3 heart attacks and eat nothing but taco bell, the chicken and turkey my mom makes, oreos, and water my whole life. The top of my head is bald. My record is that I can eat 24.5 taco bell burritoes in 4 minutes and 34 seconds.
I am just kidding. I am not a nerd at all. Nothing up there is true except that I like leprechauns. I am really 24, I live in my own apartment with my girlfriend. I work as a marketing consultant, and I am getting married and 7 months. I weigh 155 pounds and I have short, clean, brown hair. I played football and basketball in high school, and cannot speak any languages beside English and French, not klingon or binary code. I like taco bell, but only get it about once every two months. Sometimes I dance in the rain with a candy cane.
Sincerely,
Biff Wellington of Wales Jr. III

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